The Anna Maria Island Sun Newspaper

Vol. 17 No. 33 - May 31, 2017

FEATURE

Preparing your boat for the big one

Anna Maria Island Sun News Story

submitted

Boats are better off away from a storm but sometimes
that isn't possible and they end up like this.

Boats can become a nuisance and hazardous during a hurricane, so the time to make plans is now, according to a pamphlet online by marine insurance company Boat US.

The best way to deal with a boat is to get it out of the water when a storm is imminent. A study by MIT after hurricane Gloria found that boats stored ashore were far less likely to be lost than those stored in the water. Many marinas and yacht clubs have evacuation plans that call for pulling as many boats out of the water as possible whenever a storm is approaching.

That means get a boat away from the water also. A boat stored on davits is vulnerable to storm surge, so it should be stored on shore, well above the anticipated storm surge. If possible, take it inland or, in the case of boats on the Island, to the mainland.

If you must leave a boat in the water, studies show that helix anchors have much more holding power than traditional mushroom and dead-weight anchors. If possible, secure your boat in a snug harbor. Try to avoid anchoring it in an area with a lot of rocks in the bottom as wave action combined with low water surges might cause it to be pulled along the bottom or close to it, damaging the hull.

When to take action

A hurricane warning advisory is issued when sustained winds of 74 mph or more are expected within 24 hours or less. That's too late to head for the boat since you'll probably be busy securing your home and possessions.

A hurricane watch is posted when hurricane conditions pose a threat to a specific coastal region, usually within 36 hours. Some feel that also is too late.

The best time to move your boat is when a hurricane is a substantial possibility. If you wait too late, bridges might be locked down and the area you selected inaccessible.

It's better to have a false alarm than to wait too long and lose everything.

There is an axiom that says, "Never stay aboard in a hurricane."

Believe it.

Secondary weather events such as tornadoes and lightning can combine with the violent wind and waves to make it impossible to control your boat, much less your own body, in a hurricane.

When a hurricane is coming, you should certainly do everything possible to protect your boat – secure extra lines, set out anchors, add chafe protection, strip the boat above and below decks, but make sure you head inland. Your boat can be replaced. You can't.

After the storm

Marinas that were hit by the likes of Hugo and Andrew had to contend with downed power lines, blocked roads and stacks of wreckage. Widespread looting can be a problem also. Boat owners who did not take home expensive equipment before a storm would be wise to do so afterward, if it's still there.

Broken ports and hatches on the boat should be secured to prevent further damage.

For more information, check with your mechanic or marina.

Online critics and horse poop

My uncle George didn't like critics. He maintained they constrained his creative energies.

If there was ever anyone who needed his creative energies constrained, it was my uncle George.

One summer uncle George decided to convert his suburban home's entire front lawn into a farm in hopes of aggravating his neighbors.

To make the farm flourish he covered the whole yard with six inches of horse poop.

There was a truckload of the stuff dumped strategically at the intersection of the sidewalk and his driveway so that it forced passers-by off the walk and out into the street.

George and I were shoveling the poop up onto what used to be his lawn when George's neighbor and life-long nemesis, Mr McGillicuddy, leaned over the fence and started grousing at old uncle George about all the horse poop.

George drew himself up to his full height, placed both palms on the end of his shovel and bellowed, "This is landscaping. Thoreau said that landscape architecture is the highest form of art."

Then he leaned in close, gave McGillicuddy his squinty eye, and spit out,

"And you are too stupid and blind to be a goddam art critic."

Mr Mcgillicuddy got so mad he about had a stroke.

It would have been appropriate if he had died on that fence. He and George were forever fighting across the fence and peeing through the fence into each other's yards.

George's disdain for critics did not stop at his fence.

Once I opened a restaurant, his squinty eye locked on anyone critical of the food.

It is a good thing he did not live to see the birth of the online foodie critics.

The on-line restaurant review sites have bred more restaurant critics than the horse poop on Uncle George's front lawn bred flies. And most of the critics are about as knowledgeable.

Urban Spoon, Yelp and Trip Advisor, provide anyone with an axe to grind with an anonymous platform for spite, misinformation and just plain McGillicuddy style stupidity.

The most obnoxious aspect of the online reviewers is their anonymity.

To write a criticism online you need only make up a name, any name – and you can do it as often as you like.

The online critics don't need to know anything. They don't have to get their facts checked by an editor. They don't have to put their name on their review. They don't even have to prove they were even in the restaurant.

It is an ugly truth of our business that some restaurants enlist people to write bad reviews about their perceived competition and that if you have to ask an employee or a patron to leave, inevitably they will seek revenge by writing bad reviews online.

The online critics have written some absolutely crazy stuff about the Bistro.

There was the lady that said she did not like the wooden floors. We have no wooden floors. I would love to have wooden floors.

One supposed diner complained about the service upstairs. We don't have an upstairs either.

One online reviewer wrote that I was mean and rich and that I owned marinas all over the world and all I did was hang out with famous actresses.

My wife wanted to know where the marinas were. She did not for a moment believe that any actresses were interested.

My favorite was the lady that gave us a lousy score because "the restaurant was too far away."

The anonymous online reviewers are free to be as dishonest as they like without telling anyone their name. Maybe it is better that they hide. Dead or alive old uncle George would be over the fence after them.

"Anonymity is the preferred cloak of the coward."

Thoreau said that too.


AMISUN ~ The Island's Award-Winning Newspaper